I like to think I’m a martyr. That I chose the 9-5 to learn all about it from the inside.
You have to learn about systems in order to break them, I said.
Again and again.
Rules and regulations.
Again and again.
This is good.
Then one by one my friends left their jobs, homes, and even their beds.
I became angry with them – it’s a privilege I said.
You don’t see single moms or dads droppin the cubby for the treehouse in Panama
Wait til your teeth fall out, sure, try out that dentist in Thailand
You tore your ACL, trust that therapist in Mali?
It’s a privilege I said.
A privilege to take risks,
A privilege to dump all your shit there
To leave it here.
To say you don’t need it.
Because it’s cheaper there?
I am happy.
One by one they left.
For adventure, for love, for creativity, for challenge.
For something more, for less…for insights
and less burdens.
For likes, for dislikes.
For arms outstretched, wide.
It’s a privilege I said.
Would you leave if your mum had cancer?
If your dad left your mum?
If you had a whole family of 5? Trust the schools in Mozambique?
This is good for me.
I work 9-5 so my mom can tell her mother in 5-9 words what the hell I do and for who and where.
No more, peace corpse where?
I am a martyr you see?
Isn’t it clear, that I’m giving up the dream?
The dream to be me?
I wish I could share with you…
the icons I click
the buildings I climb
the paper I print
the lights that turn on
and the air con that runs.
Because my parents will one day be old.
Because I need to explain. In words.
Because the paint will dry out
My hands will tire out
Their eyes and ears will no longer grasp,
the fight and the flight
of tripscollaborationscompostingmultimediacommunityasedprojectsjewelrycollectionsculpturegardenbicycleridehomebrewvacationssushisushisnowboardsoymilkcoffee
Soar. 
I am learning.
How many others’ beds will we sleep on
Before we buy our own
How many beds will we give away
Before we keep our own
I am aware.
Can an activist be in repose?
At least for a while
A short while…
Long enough to enjoy her gym membership?
Yes, I know.
This life of mine, it is a privilege.
