12.13.2013

It creeps up at different times. In different ways.
Sometimes it chokes you.
Sometimes it lingers, like an open wound.

You will cover it, ignore it, but it is aways painfully present.

Sometimes you thought you were over it, beyond it, stronger than it - above it.
And than it rushes out full force, breaking walls, opening doors and climbing over barriers - those that you thought were in place.

Unbreakable you said.
Contained. Controlled.
 
After it seeps and spills forth,
flooding your thoughts,
you let it.

words roll, actions take over
followed by pride
you let it.

then there is shame.
blame.

why did you say that?
why are you always thinking that

It isn’t important, everyone knows already.
why do you always make a big deal about it.
let it go.

Walls let loose
doors break open
Water settles in the cracks of the once broken
When I am more of me
and much willing to just be.

my response

http://www.peacecorps.gov/response/

      There’s this fine line between genuine service and the pursuit of the extraordinarily cool (i.e. dude, this homie i know started a Bengali-Nepalese-Peruvian-Tajik environmental-social entrepreneurship-exchange partnership program using locally-derived plant-based mineral tie-dying culturally-based textiles with indigenous prints to generate income for homeless youth). OH, and he fundraised$400,000 to travel to 63 different countries training community-based orgs on how to develop similar programing. Oh and he started a transnational hip-hop group that perform/built a sweet space in the Cape Flats.

My natural Response:
dude, Rad. i want to be that homie. (My second Response: is he single?! ;)

Peace Corps South Africa, 2006 - Getting ready to come home to the States

       I confess, It’s hard for me not to significantly value the ‘extraordinarily cool’ and to NOT measure my experiences and pursuits against it. So how do I prepare and develop my work/volunteer experiences and pursuits to be an honest reflection of genuine service? How do I apply and/or integrate it with my personal work values and ethics?

Here is my cry for a personal and open Response:

I will observe, listen, learn, and be patient.
I will remember to identify, focus on, and celebrate community and cultural assets.
I will cultivate awareness of community development in historical, cultural, and socio-cultural contexts.
I will discern the source my intention and practice - is it based on the needs/priorities directly expressed by individuals from the community?
I will ask, whose voices are heard, unheard?
I will be flexible, humble.
gracious. grateful.

Finally, I will ask - hey Homie,
Hold me accountable?