the shape of my block

outside temperature: 104 °
inside temperature: somewhere between 84 ° - 103 °

We hear of ‘blocks’ often in our lives, they usually fall in the context of creativity and productivity, such as, “writer’s block” and “mental block.” But then there are many many other blocks that can occur:

Physical blocks, spiritual blocks, social blocks, familial blocks, career blocks, sexual-frustration blocks, financial blocks…stumbling blocks?

In Tucson, at the edge of encapsulating my rocky but fun past and at the brink of exploring my much-anticipated ideas and goals, life is ferociously hot – but undeniably - coolishly rad.

I cannot pinpoint or categorize a block, my block, but I feel blocked. Compared to other blocks, it cannot be resolved through the passage of time or overcome through new resources and strategies. This block feels familiar and chronic, like tendinitis or mold, dormant and always there, flaring up when you least expect it - (or am I describing herpes?) Either way, it’s a block that’s vaguely recognizable and has the high potentiality of being…permanent. (So in that case, mold wouldn’t fit the description – so tendinitis and herpes are at a whopping first place.)


Like many other blocks, my vague but familiar block lies somewhere between past failures and future fears. (Which is like EVERYTHING or quite simply, the NOW. AQUI.) So whilst exploring the nature of blocks, this issue sprang forth:

Is there a possibility that we could never be completely…happy, that our lives, addicted to complexity and challenges are attracted to blocks and will subconsciously and/or inactively and/or strategically seek them, place them in front of us, and even drag them around, such that we are almost always, “blocked”?

Thus the shape of my block is circular, and it is almost always circling around me. The amazing thing is, in the heat of the Sonora Desert and the heat of things to come, I am finding security in this blockage, as it moves with me, from country to country, town to town and community to community. Yes, it still is a block, but I am beginning to understand it more - when it flames up, and how to easily suffocated it. When to challenge it, and when to work with it, (say climbing on top to get a better view ;) I’m even thinking of decorating it, finding others to join in and spray-paint it.

So00, care to join my block party? If not, any non-violent suggestions?